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Apr 06

Pregnancy post #8 – my birth story

By Personal, Pregnancy No Comments

The reason I am sharing my story is because when I was pregnant I found a lot of comfort in reading other mother’s stories and learning about all the different ways labour and birth can go. It gave me comfort and educated me to prepare for my own. I hope this can do the same for those reading this.

Summary

  • First Time Mum
  • 41 + 2
  • 9/2/2020
  • Baby boy (gender known)
  • Kit Taylor Law
  • 7lb 5oz
  • MLU, labour ward, c-section, TENS machine, pethidine, epidural

How it all started

Exactly 41 weeks, on my dad’s birthday I woke up at 20 past 1 in the morning with contractions. They were quite strong as even after taking 2 paracetamol I couldn’t get back to sleep so I sat up in the living room trying not to wake my husband. However, he knew I’d got up and came to see what was going on at 238am (he was very specific about the time). At this stage I called the hospital to let them know my labour had started but my waters were still intact and they said to stay at home which was my plan anyway.

We started timing the contractions using the Freya app (from The Positive Birth Company) and by 6am I was having 3 in 10 minutes so we decided to head to the hospital. For me, all my contractions were in my back, which I’d later find out was due to baby being back to back, I never felt a contraction in my tummy throughout my entire labour. Having planned to birth on the midwife led unit we headed straight there, I was examined to be told I was 1cm dilated. Most people have said how disheartened they would have been, but for me I was fine because I knew where I was at and could manage it. The midwife also told me that even though I felt contractions she thought perhaps some of them were actually just the baby moving rather than a true contraction. We headed home, I hopped in the bath and we waited it out. My waters went at 830am. I’ll never forget it because we were watching Phillip Schofield on This Morning tell the world he was gay. I called the hospital and they told us to come in when we were ready, we got there at about 11am.

The hospital

Again, we were given a room on the midwife led unit and I laboured there all day and all night until about 130am the following morning. During this time, I couldn’t eat, vomited all over myself and my husband, used the shower to help with my contractions, also used the TENS machine and opted for pethidine as a source of pain relief. After being examined twice throughout the day and night I was only 3cm dilated despite being in labour for 24 hours and the midwives advised me it was best to move up to the labour ward where baby could be monitored more closely. I wasn’t having a water birth (which I’d hoped for), but I was ok with that.

Moving to the labour ward

The midwives put me in a wheelchair, and we arrived upstairs. Thankfully the midwives looking after me stayed with me until their shift ended at 8am. I was still 3cm. They hooked me and baby up for monitoring (with a clip on his head) and after discussions I was put on the syntocinon drip to try and make my contractions stronger. At this point the pethidine was due to be topped up but we decided against it as we were also considering an epidural and couldn’t have both. After discussions I opted for the epidural in a bid to get some rest, I’d been awake for over 24 hours at this point. This is the first of two instances where things didn’t go very smoothly. They had me prepped, sprayed the cold spray on my back and the anesthetist got called away to an emergency, I waited 4 hours for another one to come, with no pain relief. Needless to say at 4am when I finally got my epidural, I slept for a good few hours. The drip was still going, however, not quite as everyone had hoped. Every time the dose of hormone was increased, to try and make the contractions stronger and in essence help me to dilate, baby’s heart rate would drop and it was taking longer to recover each time. In essence, they couldn’t increase the hormone enough to help me dilate without a risk to baby. After 14 hours on the drip, and me now being 5cm dilated at most the consultant came in and advised that it would be best to try another 4 hours and then we would do a c section if there was no further progress.

Final decisions

In the midst of all this happening there were so many other people coming in, all disagreeing with each other, looking at the chart, talking to the midwives and me and I was feeling even more uncomfortable as each minute passed. I had told my hubby to go home (we only live 5 minutes from the hospital) have a shower and freshen up. An hour into the next 4 hours I wasn’t comfortable with how things were going anymore, the consultant came back and I told her to take me for a c section, this was about 8pm (43 hours after my first contraction and 36 hours after my waters had gone). I was upset because I hadn’t eaten in 2 days, was only half-way to being 10cm and was sick of too many opinions and changes. However, I will say I felt so empowered that I had made the final decision for us and our baby. I called my husband to come back as soon as possible, it wasn’t an emergency as baby was ok because they turned the drip off. I was still contracting naturally but just not very strong.

At 10pm they wheeled us down to theatre. I was just about to be transferred to the theatre table to be told there was an emergency of higher priority than me, so I was wheeled back to my room. Finally, at 10 past midnight on the 9th of February we went back to theatre and at 0034 Kit Taylor Law joined our family. He cried straight away which was music to our ears. When the surgeons took him out, they confirmed the cord was around his head, which explains why I wouldn’t dilate. The midwives were hoping that by having me on the drip he would move and the cord would come free but it didn’t. Now I have some answers it’s much easier for me to process what happened.

Afterthoughts

Whilst I didn’t like the consultant, or her decisions I cannot speak highly enough of the midwives, across all four shifts who supported me during labour, three of them even came to visit me on the ward the following day. My husband was also my rock, without him I could not have got through those two days and all that followed, I’ll be forever grateful.

I also cannot speak highly enough of The Positive Birth Company, which I firmly believe helped frame my mindset for labour and birth and contributed to how I feel today. Positive, happy and content I made the right decisions.

Mar 30

Pregnancy post #7 – Maternity leave & being self employed

By Personal, Pregnancy No Comments

Finding out

When I found out my due date was January 31st I was like brilliant (sarcasm), the busiest time of the year for the health and nutrition industry and precisely when your tax return is due. Over the festive season it does quieten down as the public aren’t looking for so much advice on nutrition (even though they should be, it really is the perfect time to keep focussed. Anyway, I digress). So, when everyone is looking for the advice after the new year I’ll be off, but hey you win some you lose some.

Maternity leave

Maternity leave is kinda weird, especially with your first child (although I’ve got nothing to compare it to). Being a business owner, it means that whilst I had still planned to take time off, there was never really a set end date. In my head I had always said January 21st (with baby’s due date the 31st) but in reality, I was still doing bits and pieces every day up until he was born. That’s also because I love my job too. The thing is, you have to keep on top of things because if you don’t it’s your reputation and business that will suffer. So, whilst my paid work slowed down, I was still writing and doing lots of content planning and getting things ready for when I do return to work. What is good about being self-employed is the fact I can choose when to go back to work and take on as much or as little as I want to. This did bring me some comfort.

I certainly did start to take more rest time towards the end of my pregnancy. But being quite a busy little bee this certainly didn’t come naturally to me. As I’ve already mentioned, I didn’t and still don’t just sit down and watch endless hours of television. If anything, that would make me feel worse. There were days when I just didn’t really know what to do with myself. There were other days where I certainly felt more lonely than I had ever been. And whilst I tended to get over that by the following day, it’s not easy.

You are just waiting around for something to happen. Which is weird in itself. And something I will never experience again either. It’s a mental battle between “I must embrace this” and “here’s another day and what the hell am I going to do?” However, towards the end I honestly made peace with the fact that growing a little person is pretty impressive and to make the most of such a special time in my life.

As I love cooking, I made use of my kitchen quite a lot. I batch cooked lots of meals and brushed up on my baking (which many of you will know was not my finest skill). And for anyone who isn’t a keen cook then maternity leave may be the time to try it out. The joy you get from making food for others is something truly special. Or even just for yourself.

Pay

What you don’t appreciate is sorting out maternity pay. Your employer normally does that for you. It was a bit of a nightmare for me if I’m honest. It took way longer than I thought. So, my recommendation for anyone who is self-employed or runs their own limited company (in the UK) is to phone the Department of Work and Pensions and discuss your situation with them before filling out any forms online and sending them off. If you have an accountant they should also be able to help you. Speaking from experience, I didn’t do this and had to do everything the long way round. Which meant at 38 weeks pregnant I was still sorting it (and actually 7 weeks post birth it’s still going on now).

There are pro’s and con’s to being self employed or being employed by a business. I still wouldn’t change it, despite the financial benefits not being great. But that’s because I love what I do so so much.

Mar 16

Pregnancy post #5 – second hand stuff and recycling

By Food for thought, Personal, Pregnancy, Tips No Comments

Big fans…

Being big fans of reusing and recycling when we found out about the new addition to our family we were adamant to do as much as we could not to buy new things. We just didn’t want to add more items into a system that was already flooded with products. I cannot say a big enough thanks to all my friends and family who gave us so much, their generosity was next level. The baby had almost a full wardrobe of clothes from newborn to nine months before he was even born. I must say this was probably helped by the fact I was one of the last in my group of friends to have children, just as some of them had completed their own families.

What we got

I used Facebook marketplace all the time, because you can filter it to search local to you. My buggy (and all the bits to go with it), baby carrier, newborn insert, cot and rocking chair all came from there. Some of these had not even been used, or only used once. Some brand new but for half the price.

The cot (£30, retailed brand new for over £300) and rocking chair (£20) we just sanded down and re-painted, with low VOC paint to ensure it wasn’t toxic. Both as good as new. And yes, you have to have the time to do this, it’s about making it a priority. We spent a few hours on each item together. The shelves for Kit’s books are also made from reclaimed scaffold boards.

Provided they remain in good condition we will also sell on, or at the very least give to a charity shop who can benefit from it long after we have.

Brand new is not always best

More of us need to move away from the thought process that new is best. Yes, in some cases new items are essential, for hygiene reasons and if you have a personal reason which you feel strongly about. But for babies, it’s really not necessary and as adults we need to apply those principals to us too. Probably half of my very small maternity wardrobe came from the second hand clothes app, Depop. If you don’t have an account, set one up here. Again, lots of clothes which have barely been worn and even more which are brand new. Considering maternity clothes are worn for such a short period of time it just makes sense. There is also loads of baby stuff on here too, however I am yet to use it for that.

Nappies and wipes

Now, it comes to nappies and wipes. What a minefield. That’s all I can say. We both researched a lot. And I think it then turned into information overload. We had always said from the start that using solely washable nappies and wipes wasn’t going to work and we didn’t want to put ourselves under that much pressure with a newborn. So, we’d said we’d use washable nappies at home and disposable when we were out and about. Or the other option was we’d use washable for one day a week and disposable for the remainder of the time. Something as better than nothing. At the moment we are using disposable but I’m thinking once Kit is around 2 months old to move to the above. I have everything ready.

The wipes are just as confusing. I have a set from Cheeky Wipes which we do use already. And I also invested in bamboo and compostable varieties too. But none of them fully breakdown, and whilst it seems like a good idea, if the product doesn’t fully breakdown then I question if it’s worth the effort, because you are back at square one.

Remember

No one is doing everything. It’s impossible. But if you are doing one thing here and there to be more eco friendly then you are doing your bit. So I challenge you, what’s next on your list?

Mar 09

Pregnancy post #4 – food

By Food for thought, Personal, Pregnancy No Comments

Eating habits

My eating habits were all over the place. In the first 6 months I literally ate so many carbs and sugar it was unbelievable. I used to consume quite a lean high protein diet with lots of veggies and wholegrains. That was gone, and surprisingly I was ok with it. I had a new-found love of cereal. I would never have eaten cereal before and now I was having it every day. Sometimes twice a day. Other than that, anything cold was a good thing. Fruit, fruit juice, milk, ice and then carb wise, cereal, bread, potatoes, pasta and rice and not much else. I wasn’t that good with raw meat for a while either, the smell just made my stomach turn. My meals were very bland.

Blood tests

This change of diet was actually reflected in my blood test results which I just find fascinating. I’ve never had a problem with my haemoglobin levels. As I regularly donate blood they check your levels every time so I was pretty aware of how normal they were. However, at my booking in appointment around 11 weeks they take your bloods and mine had dropped from a regular 144 to 125. And the likelihood of this is due to the fact I wasn’t eating very well, barely any foods rich in iron and baby was taking a lot of nutrients from me. I’m pleased to say when my next blood tests were done in November they had gone up to 129 (not massive but still a slight improvement), chances are as my diet had improved by then. All of these figures are still in the normal range, just a bit more on the low side.

Third trimester onwards

At the start of the third trimester it just started becoming unpleasant to eat in the evening, I was really full and there was just no room left. I would tend to eat most of my meals before about 3pm and then have half of what I’d normally eat in the evening.

I was scared my appetite and love of food wouldn’t return. Being an absolute food lover and with it forming a large part of my life it worried me that I’d just never get that spark back. Cooking wasn’t as exciting when you couldn’t eat it or didn’t fancy it.

From about week 30 I noticed my nausea returning on certain mornings for just a few hours. It was different this time, not hunger related, it was just there, like an annoying little niggle. It wasn’t everyday and nothing in particular triggered it. However, compared to the beginning it was really nothing.

Then, at week 37 my spark for eating how I used to just returned randomly one day. I was still a cereal fiend but I was back eating higher protein meals, more veggies and salads and it helped. I started to get excited about after baby was born and getting back to eating well and looking after myself, my way, again.

Post birth

Now our little baby has arrived I can honestly say most of my eating has returned to normal although I have been indulging in things I fancy when I want them. I don’t believe in snapping back or getting your body back. Our bodies are amazing, I am in awe that I grew a human being and I am also excited to be eating relatively healthy again. This will support me in getting to where I want to be and support bubs too as I’m breastfeeding him.

Mar 02

Pregnancy post #3 – exercise

By Food for thought, Movement, Personal, Pregnancy No Comments

It’s beneficial

Continuing to exercise once you’ve found out you are pregnant still gets a bad wrap, even though it’s 2020. There is countless research which tells us its safe. If you understand your own body, it’s actually good for you and for baby, both physically and mentally. And it can also reduce the amount of time spent in labour, and personally I was all for that.

My exercise routine

Being quite a fit individual, I carried on with most of my normal exercise routine, just dropping the intensity as I progressed. I continued to train weights once a week with my PT and run 3 to 4 times a week. I’d also walk twice a week with a friend and do body weight circuits or resistance training at home. Even though I was so tired and felt awful at the beginning this would always make me feel better. I had to stop running at 19 weeks. I’d always said to myself if I could run until I was halfway I’d be happy and I nearly made it. It was a Saturday afternoon and the pressure on my lower abdomen and discomfort in my pelvis just wasn’t worth it. 90 seconds in I stopped and walked and knew that was it. Inside I was gutted. I remember coming home and being in such a bad mood, but the next day that mood was gone. It’s hard, but I think you just have tell yourself that it’s not forever and as long as you can do something it’s better than nothing. So that was how I approached things from then on. It was such a different mindset training for something other than a time, to lift heavier or to beat a previous personal best. I was now training just because I could. Because it made me feel good. And it was refreshing. I’d urge you all to try it once every now and again.

At 26 weeks I took up pregnancy yoga. To be honest I have never been a true yogi, it’s super slow and I struggle with it despite it being challenging for the body. But I completed the course as I know the benefits in terms of stretching and opening up the pelvis is good for birth. I don’t think I’ll do it again though as it’s just not for me.

I continued to stay as active as possible throughout my entire pregnancy. We had some kettlebells at home (which are so old but did the trick) so I’d use those for body weight and circuit training exercises 2 to 3 times per week. I found Bumps and Burpees a really good source of safe exercise routines and with the workouts being between 15 and 20 minutes it means you can absolutely find the time. I’d either do a 5km walk which would take around an hour, or a 30-minute walk and then a circuit session aiming for 5 days a week with 2 rest days.

The breathlessness crept in from about 30 weeks onwards and I really had to slow the pace, but the important thing was to keep doing it. I was simply astounded at how quickly I now became out of breath. I used to run for hours at a time and now, walking up a hill was tough. By week 36 my pelvis and hips were starting to feel slightly uncomfortable purely because of the extra weight so I dropped the intensity again but still kept moving. Exercise or simply being active is a way of life for me, so whilst I was constantly advised to “rest” or “take it easy” walking and doing things like this made me feel at ease. They are things which relax my mind and make me feel good.

Starting again

I can’t wait until I can get back into some high intensity stuff but equally, I won’t be rushing it and plan on seeing a women’s health physio to get everything checked before attempting anything too high impact.

Feb 17

Pregnancy post #1 – the beginning

By Personal, Pregnancy No Comments

Here goes…

I don’t often write a lot of personal perspective stuff as all my nutrition work is based on science and research. However, when I found out I was pregnant and started my own research on the parent population I found that there are so many inquisitive mothers to be out there, who just want to be listened to and also want to understand how it was for others. Not for comparison, but to help them during their own journey. I certainly found it helped me to understand pregnancy by listening to others and reading a lot of other mothers stories. So, over the next few weeks I’ll be posting about my journey, what changed, how I felt and hopefully to make you all feel a little calmer about things. It’s not broken down into weeks or months, but topic focused, everything from food to shopping, female body changes and what people say. Let’s start at the beginning shall we…

The beginning

We found out about baby Law at around 7 weeks. We’d been away with friends for a long weekend in France and when we got back I felt awful. I had zero energy, was nauseas for three days straight and said to my husband “I think I might be pregnant, and if I’m not then I’m booking a doctors appointment because this isn’t normal”. Two days later he got home from work and we had both purchased pregnancy tests. It was my mum and dads 39th wedding anniversary, what a gift. We were going to be parents.

At least now I could put my feelings of total rubbish down to something. Most of my friends have had children and they had recommended going for a private scan just to check the viability of the embryo as otherwise we had a nervous five weeks to wait until the NHS scan you book in for at 12 weeks. I acknowledge here that we are privileged to be in this position and £80 later we knew our baby had a heartbeat. That was the only private scan we had throughout the entire pregnancy.

The pregnancy journey

I had a relatively smooth pregnancy, I can’t and won’t complain. There are others who go through hell. I do however, think it’s about being realistic about the situation too. For me personally, pregnancy almost calmed me down a bit. I am always on the go, with things to do. I’m busy. And relaxation for me isn’t really sitting on the sofa all day under a duvet watching re-runs of Friends. It’s more like going for walk, watching one episode of something on television, having a bath, reading, cooking and even cleaning sometimes. But people struggle to understand that. I guess what I learnt from this journey is you know yourself the best and if you are up for something then do it.

At my 20 week scan the sonographer noted that my placenta was lying ever so slightly low so I was booked in for another scan at 32 weeks. I was secretly delighted as it was another chance to see our little baby bean before his arrival into the world. I wasn’t overly worried about the placenta. From what I was told from friends a lot of the time they can move up and in the end what will be will be. If it didn’t move then I’d need a cesarean and that would be out of my control. At 32 weeks, we were re-scanned and it was no longer close to the cervix which was great. Bubs was cosy and his head was down already, I remember my husband saying, “so basically he is upside down, for like the next 2 months”. This was confirmed when he regularly and persistently kicked me in the ribs.

Midwife appointments and the start of labour

My midwife appointments went as normal every 2-3 weeks and then weekly from 40 weeks. In Hertfordshire where I live we see community midwifes at the children’s centre so there aren’t any trips to the hospital unless its for a scan or consultant appointment.

I declined a sweep at 4o + 3 as I wasn’t overly convinced on the benefits and despite being uncomfortable most of the time I was happy our little baby bean would be here when he was ready. I went into labour at exactly 41 weeks.